I've been reading my previous posts and though they are not that many i haven't posted regularly, it's nice to know how i feel on that certain time. I've read my first post which Reylit has commented and i just realized that until now, i'm still stuck in that relationship!!!!! If that's what i call it. I, too, haven't had a bone to get out. I'm already turning 33 next Thursday and still when someone asked me, "how are you?" I always say, "it's still the same." Indeed! It's still the same. The same relationship, the same work, though i've upgraded a bit. Hehe! I'm now working more closely to the bossess although it's quite tough but i'm getting along with them. But then, aside from my duties at work, my car, my home, everything is still the same. I'm striving hard to find the right man for me. He didn't have to be handsome or rich but i just wanted him to love me and accept me for who i am. Though, hypocrisy aside, i'm also taking into consideration if he would be able to provide for me and not vice versa. :) I'm earning good right now enough to provide for my family and some vices of course but i save a lot for rainy days. :) Just heard that Albay has been under Alert Level 2 for Tsunami after Japan. I hope it would not happen.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Mortgage
Just arrived from Yaba's house. I'm with my officemate to assess a portion of his property 'coz he wanted to mortgage it to our office. The value of the given property did not suffice the amount we aim to mortgage the property. Have to talk to Mom instead if she would allow the rest of the property to be mortgaged. Of course, as expected, Mom didn't approve. She wanted for yaba to talk to his other siblings. I saw his face and it turned red and then blank. I know i have somehow placed him on the spot and he would not want us to hear what Mom has to say about what we planned in the improvement of his property as a cause of the mortgage. He looked away and i could see that he would not have wanted to hear what Mom and my officemate are talking about. He just somehow smiled and looked at me signaling that it would be best if we would just go out. I was devastated for him 'coz he meant no harm about it. But the years we are asking for the mortgage to be paid is quite long. I know that if ever that mortgage will be pushed through, he'll be tied to me no matter what. I will have to hold the documents until it was redeemed.
On the way out before i entered the car, i asked him if he'd come tonight. And he said, no. Not yet. The situation is not yet ok so it would be best if he would not come. Although i expected it but it hurts for me to know that despite of all the things i've done to him and all the things i've been through, he still doesn't have the strength to fight for me. As if he always knew that i'll always be there and he can come and go as he pleases. He knew that i'll always wait in the background. I was beginning to be pissed off. If i can just ask God to let me forget about him this instant, i will. But instead, sill as it may seem, i'm still clinging to him to whatever hope there is for us. I hope and pray that time will come soon for him to be a man and decide for us.
On the way out before i entered the car, i asked him if he'd come tonight. And he said, no. Not yet. The situation is not yet ok so it would be best if he would not come. Although i expected it but it hurts for me to know that despite of all the things i've done to him and all the things i've been through, he still doesn't have the strength to fight for me. As if he always knew that i'll always be there and he can come and go as he pleases. He knew that i'll always wait in the background. I was beginning to be pissed off. If i can just ask God to let me forget about him this instant, i will. But instead, sill as it may seem, i'm still clinging to him to whatever hope there is for us. I hope and pray that time will come soon for him to be a man and decide for us.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Dream come true
Follow up on my post last March 2009. I have my own house and car now. I'll try to post some pics. "The Secret" really works! I'm now focusing on my future family...hopefully a great family and career. I only wish for someone to love me and accept me for who i am. I'm planning to go back to school to take law. I know i'll pass. I also know that i'll be married and have kids by then. :) Of course, yaba will be my hubby. :)
Birthday
It's his birthday today. Kinda fuzzy about it 'coz we have the usual problems again. I don't know if this is really the turning point or not. I've been wondering how he feels about me and the other. It seemed to me that he loves her too but then, i know he also do the same for me. It was quite a situation. The Gospel last sunday says" you cannot serve two masters at a time". It's either you'll love or despise the other or either you'll both love each other but then neglect the other. Huh! I know. I've been there. It really is difficult and at times mind blowing. I still cling to him. Even though i know that we are hurting someone in the process but it's all part of life. We live to survive. I don't intent for someone to be hurt though. I just realized last night the reason why he can't leave him, i think. She has an ailment and i think it would jeopardize her health if he leave her. I am not that certain though if that's the case.
I went to his house just now and we were supposed to talk about the things that are happening around us. We haven't got the chance to talk 'coz we obviously didn't know where to start. It just ended with a kiss and he says that he's the only one with the problem. I don't have any problems to worry about. He says we'll talk about it some other time but till then, he'll stay the same. I don't know if he really love the other, he also clings to what we have and furthermore, asked me to do what i usually did for him even if the other already knew about it. Huh! It's kinda rough and tough but i have a huge hope that we will be together for the rest of our lives and that we'll get through this together. I am not mean. I don't intend to hurt anybody. I just happen to be in love and fighting for what life i may have with him.
I went to his house just now and we were supposed to talk about the things that are happening around us. We haven't got the chance to talk 'coz we obviously didn't know where to start. It just ended with a kiss and he says that he's the only one with the problem. I don't have any problems to worry about. He says we'll talk about it some other time but till then, he'll stay the same. I don't know if he really love the other, he also clings to what we have and furthermore, asked me to do what i usually did for him even if the other already knew about it. Huh! It's kinda rough and tough but i have a huge hope that we will be together for the rest of our lives and that we'll get through this together. I am not mean. I don't intend to hurt anybody. I just happen to be in love and fighting for what life i may have with him.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
It's been more than 8 months since i've thought of posting again. Been kinda busy with work. I thought of blogging again as i'm reading a book about Women as Winners. It has so many realization after reading a chapter. I might begin to write more about that and post it here. It's a good feeling i suppose as a book can help you through the realization of life.
I also read "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne. It's a good book and after i have read it, i have totally grasped the SECRET! Huh! What a suspense for a secret. Hahaha! Well, after what i read and learned, i applied it immediately as if to test the validity of the secret. It works! It's like a magnet pulling all the energy and the things that i wanted and when i needed it. Not to exaggerate things but i was thinking about a property which i like. Although, i have second thoughts as to where am i going to get a huge sum of money to buy the property but it all comes like a mushroom in a field.
As soon as i read it, i began to think of a house. This particular property is the one i pictured in my mind for each and every single day that i think of a house for my family. I even looked at the net for a design of a house and it struck me that after i've printed every plan, it was shaped or rather it was planned according to the boundaries of the house that i want! As i'm thinking about it though, i don't have enough money to buy it but in a period of one month, i bought the house. The house is now mine! The owner of the house told me that a buyer approached her a few weeks before i inquired and she told me that that buyer wanted to buy the house in cash but she didn't let the buyer have it. As soon as she saw me, she told me that she's willing to give into my terms and she told me that she feels her house is for me. I had the terms on a fifty percent down payment and the rest is payable on a monthly basis in one year! Isn't that a great deal?
I'm thinking now of a design of my house and i'm seriously thinking about it to the point that i imagined and desired each single detail of my house. It was a hard task. I had headaches sometimes but the fulfillment that i feel is worth it. I know i'll be able to build my dream house...not someday...but i'll build my dream house this May 2009 and i'll be able to finish it in one year that would be May 2010. The house is for my Mom , 2 brothers and my beloved pets Maxine, Pinky and Elmo and soon to the family of my own...but my Mom will stay with me. :)
I also read "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne. It's a good book and after i have read it, i have totally grasped the SECRET! Huh! What a suspense for a secret. Hahaha! Well, after what i read and learned, i applied it immediately as if to test the validity of the secret. It works! It's like a magnet pulling all the energy and the things that i wanted and when i needed it. Not to exaggerate things but i was thinking about a property which i like. Although, i have second thoughts as to where am i going to get a huge sum of money to buy the property but it all comes like a mushroom in a field.
As soon as i read it, i began to think of a house. This particular property is the one i pictured in my mind for each and every single day that i think of a house for my family. I even looked at the net for a design of a house and it struck me that after i've printed every plan, it was shaped or rather it was planned according to the boundaries of the house that i want! As i'm thinking about it though, i don't have enough money to buy it but in a period of one month, i bought the house. The house is now mine! The owner of the house told me that a buyer approached her a few weeks before i inquired and she told me that that buyer wanted to buy the house in cash but she didn't let the buyer have it. As soon as she saw me, she told me that she's willing to give into my terms and she told me that she feels her house is for me. I had the terms on a fifty percent down payment and the rest is payable on a monthly basis in one year! Isn't that a great deal?
I'm thinking now of a design of my house and i'm seriously thinking about it to the point that i imagined and desired each single detail of my house. It was a hard task. I had headaches sometimes but the fulfillment that i feel is worth it. I know i'll be able to build my dream house...not someday...but i'll build my dream house this May 2009 and i'll be able to finish it in one year that would be May 2010. The house is for my Mom , 2 brothers and my beloved pets Maxine, Pinky and Elmo and soon to the family of my own...but my Mom will stay with me. :)
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Holiday
It's holiday today here in the Philippines. The President moved the holiday celebration again...as always. I think it's supposed to be on Wednesday but it's moved again. Well, the government always moved the holidays so we don't know what occassion will it should be unless we watch news on TV. I'm beginning to think that maybe we'll all woke up and our Christmas has been moved to a different date! Hahaha!
I'm at work and it's kinda boring but i don't want to stay at home. I don't know what to do as of the moment so i opeted to write my blog again. Maybe, it's a way of communicating to others when you don't know whom to talk to. Hehe! Maybe that's the irony of blogging.
I'm waiting for a call when the PDIC will release it's claim form again for the G7B closure. I hope i'll get one with a much nearer date. So long for now. i'll just think of something to work on today... Hope i'll have a great day today!
I'm at work and it's kinda boring but i don't want to stay at home. I don't know what to do as of the moment so i opeted to write my blog again. Maybe, it's a way of communicating to others when you don't know whom to talk to. Hehe! Maybe that's the irony of blogging.
I'm waiting for a call when the PDIC will release it's claim form again for the G7B closure. I hope i'll get one with a much nearer date. So long for now. i'll just think of something to work on today... Hope i'll have a great day today!
Friday, August 15, 2008
Though day
This has been a tough day today. Today is pay day, i'm almost in a run althroughout the day. A collegue of mine is not around so i have to do some of his job. Whew! My day hasn't ended yet. I'm still at work. I just took a pause from the huge pile of office work.
I haven't slept well last night. I'm hoping that my bf will reply to my texts. Not knowing how he is for the day makes me worry sometimes. Well, he texted me this morning explaining why he can't reply last night. I was then beginning to think of so many things as i waited for his reply. Call it a paranoia.
I'm beginning to associate the things that i'm feeling very often towards my life with some wrong decisions i made. At some point i'm regretting it. I don't know how will i change the things i've done.
I haven't slept well last night. I'm hoping that my bf will reply to my texts. Not knowing how he is for the day makes me worry sometimes. Well, he texted me this morning explaining why he can't reply last night. I was then beginning to think of so many things as i waited for his reply. Call it a paranoia.
I'm beginning to associate the things that i'm feeling very often towards my life with some wrong decisions i made. At some point i'm regretting it. I don't know how will i change the things i've done.
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